The NFL has a new dumbass policy banning any bag larger than a clutch. It’s an even dumber policy because a clutch is a style of bag, not a size. I have crossbody bags smaller than my clutch bag.

WHERE IS YOUR TEBOW NOW?
They’re also banning seat cushions, briefcases, and fanny packs. This awful policy is going to make things a lot harder for large demographic groups, including women, people with children, people with medical conditions, and people who do other shit before games besides carefully selecting an appropriately sized clutch from their personal Wardrobe by NFL Collection TM.
Have to work late before heading over for some Monday Night Football? Well fuck you and the briefcase you rode in on. Take your employed ass and discretionary spending money to some other sporting event.

Pictured: NFL losing profits (photo by Seabamirum)
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